One should not lose one's temper unless one is certain of getting more and more angry to the end. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. There are hundreds of quotations. Not all are very helpful.
Have you ever been really angry? I was. And that's okay.
We all hear a lot about letting go of anger, curbing our temper, and learning anger management techniques. On the spiritual path, sages and gurus remind us that everyone and everything is to be forgiven and that peace and tranquility is what we all need to strive for. Anger is deemed counterproductive, useless or even destructive to our spiritual well-being and happiness. It is considered a “negative emotion” that we should reject in others and deny in ourselves. With such advice, it is no wonder that most of us shrink with guilt after our feathers get ruffled and we speak out in anger at someone we love.
Well, in truth, a little anger is good and has a function that benefits human consciousness. Used positively, anger makes us healthy, wealthy and wise and is one key to happiness. As you read this my dear readers, I can see your incredulous faces and your eyes wide open.
When we feel angry about a situation we are facing or at a person who is challenging us in some way, our anger is a signal and warning that something is out of balance. As a warning, anger saves us the grief of sitting still and doing nothing about a situation or when circumstances require a positive change.
By witnessing and understanding anger in others we can see how destructive it can be, but we can also see its merits in many situations. I learned that anger turned to passion helps me achieve my dreams and even how it can champion the lives of others. At least that's how it was for me in the past. Anger teaches us to develop a stronger personality so that we succeed in life and develop spiritual muscles to truly contribute something meaningful to the world.
Maybe, you are under a verbal attack: believe me, a healthy response is anger. Rather than cowering in fear or retracting and feeling even more vulnerable, a little anger can push to yell out a resounding “Stop”. Remember, I said little anger.
Believe me, the "I don't care attitude" is not always the right decision. "Bahala na – bahala -ka"? When we get riled up when confronted with circumstances that just seem unfair, our anger moves us deeply and points out what matters most to us.
If you stop to think about it, anger has likely been the great motivator of change in your life. Maybe you finally ended a toxic relationship after years of putting up with someone who discouraged you or who even abused you. You probably were angry with yourself for putting up with their remarks for so long, clinging to them hoping they would change. When you finally were fed up enough to let your anger win, it gave you the potent power of courage to end it. Only when we get mad enough to change the direction of our lives can we earn self-respect.
Allow me to mention the following in 2014 published story: A 2005 study by professor of psychology, Jennifer Lerner, at Carnegie Mellon University, showed that people who responded to stress producing situations with short-term anger possessed a sense of control and optimism that was lacking with those who responded with fear. The more fear individuals in the study displayed in response to the stressors, the higher their biological responses to stress. “By contrast, the more anger and indignation individuals displayed in response to the same stressors, the lower their responses,” said Lerner. Just about everyone knows a little temper tantrum can be invigorating and a relief. But anger can be deadly when it is simmers over time and no steam is allowed to escape.
Anger is in itself neither good nor bad—it's what you do with it that matters. … Research overwhelmingly indicates that feeling angry increases optimism, creativity, effective performance—and research suggests that expressing anger can lead to more successful negotiations, in life or on the job.
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